Shorter Lileks: "When I complained about how liberals were ruining Christmas, I didn't really mean that, I meant that some other people would be more offended than me, and it's because liberals don't live in my Minnesota town, where wisdom dwells. Actually I have no personal viewpoint at all on this! Yet I can write at great length about my non-viewpoint, making you feel as though you are trapped in an elevator and the air is running out. James Walcott wrote bad things about me, but he has cats."
Alternate explanation for the phenomenon that motivated Lileks into defending the imperiled Christmas holiday (clerks at stores seemed "flummoxed" when he wished them Merry Christmas): Clerks have talked to Lileks before and wish he'd go away.
Lileks' conclusion: none, of course, as that would required structured thinking and writing. Piece ends with incomprehensible observations about pets.
We read 'em so you don't have to!
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