Christmas in Peril Update

Shorter Lileks: "When I complained about how liberals were ruining Christmas, I didn't really mean that, I meant that some other people would be more offended than me, and it's because liberals don't live in my Minnesota town, where wisdom dwells. Actually I have no personal viewpoint at all on this! Yet I can write at great length about my non-viewpoint, making you feel as though you are trapped in an elevator and the air is running out. James Walcott wrote bad things about me, but he has cats."

Alternate explanation for the phenomenon that motivated Lileks into defending the imperiled Christmas holiday (clerks at stores seemed "flummoxed" when he wished them Merry Christmas): Clerks have talked to Lileks before and wish he'd go away.

Lileks' conclusion: none, of course, as that would required structured thinking and writing. Piece ends with incomprehensible observations about pets.

We read 'em so you don't have to!

Little House

I used to tell people that I lived in the smallest house in the Washington area, but I was wrong. Compared to this place in Old Town Alexandria, I had a palace - though it was not quite twice the square footage of this one.

(I once made the "smallest house" claim in the presence of a coworker who lived in Old Town, and he said, "No, I do!" It turned out that he was wrong; while his house was the same dimensions as mine, he has a half basement which made his a bit larger.)

Unlike the house in this article, mine was not built on a strange lot out of spite; in fact, it sits in row with three identical houses, and there are similar houses sprinkled around Logan Circle. When I would look at them up close, they usually had some feature that made them a little larger than mine - but not always. So while mine was not the smallest, but just tied for that honor, I never did see a house that was definitely smaller than mine.

BTBY

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